Confessions of a Digital Nomad

 It's been a tough day so far. Heavy chest, aching heart and a ton of sorrow. I get that the breakup still lingers, I've not fully moved on. But it's getting better. This is not that feeling though. It's the loss of hope, a loss of faith in love, a loss that makes me think if I'll ever find love again. I've advertised myself to be a hopeless romantic in this place, and at the core of it, I still am. It's just one of those days when I feel sad and hopeless, but I know it's just an emotion and it'll pass. Interestingly enough, I started contemplating on my fear of dying alone about an hour ago. What if I never find someone? How would life be like? A deep rooted fear of abandonment from childhood does not really help me think straight when it comes to answering such questions. But I still tried, clinging on to that last piece of hope I did have even in the excruciating agony I was in. Some answers that came naturally to me were "Adopt and raise a d...

 To the one who broke my heart, Fuck you! It's extremely difficult for me to let you go, for what you've done. I know it's my mistakes because of which I'm here. But it could've been so different had you stood up for what you showed yourself to be. When the going got tough, you gave up. Within a few weeks, you started picturing a new life. I never did that. I shouldn't ever have given so much for you. I gave my everything, let you know what it meant to me, fought for it. You killed me and yet I was standing, as a support to make it work. You know where my intentions were, even at my worst. I still was standing, despite how it all seemed to be. Yet you chose to walk away. You knew my issues, you knew how much I am willing to work on everything, grow as a person. You said you were sure, that I was worth it. Knowing all of this, where the fuck did that strength go when "I" needed it the most? I fucking hate you for it. I thought taking time will make me s...