A Leap of Faith

 I resigned from my first job today. Honestly, I don't really know how to process the emotions that this decision has come with. Relief, to some extent, of getting out of something I was'nt truly 'feeling'. You know those moments in life when you accomplish something and feel the dopamine rush momentarily? The win after the mini cricket tournament in the society? The office team badminton championships? It makes you feel alive. There's something to be said about chasing this feeling, for a period longer than fleeting moments. I guess that is why I took my decision. I've been fortunate to get another opportunity, having elements that I desperately yearned for over the past two years. The future is uncertain, and to be honest a little scary too. But going all in is what makes life worth living.


I also feel gratitude. The mundane chores which were seemingly frustrating or monotone, suddenly seem to not bother me anymore. Gratitude for everything this place has given me. Gratitude for things I took for granted for the longest of time. I once read that we, as emotional beings, chase 'gradients' of change. We only feel 'alive' during and for a short time post a transition, till we end up converging to the point of monotonicity yet again. It feels good to feel the gradient for once. Let's see what life has to offer going forward. Hopefully this will be the scene followed by motivational music (progressive rock please!) in my eventual biopic :P

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